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this one's for the messy hearts

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have you ever thought to yourself… i don't even know how to want. (let alone like - - “what” I want - - ) ever thought like - "i don't even know desire.…" or maybe “i'm not sure i really understand what “pleasure” means.” !? WORD. For so long, I was so disconnected from myself - from my pussy - from my creation powerhouse - from my magic - from my fierce af womanhood… So many of us are living somewhat numb and afraid - dulled in pursuits of trying to be our “best selves” with so much conditioning of what it meant to “be good” or “right” or “serve” - that it's hard for us to even know where to begin in building our dreams. (and if you're there now, or anywhere close - it's totally cool and safe and fun to know you're at the beginning/middle/climax of really figuring out how to figure YOU out and SHINE THE F*CK OUT of everything you are.) I know it might sound a little “disconnected” - but the number one shift for me that opened my access to understanding who I really was - …was tapping into my creativity. (worth mentioning for all you “non-creatives” out there::: - - even and especially when I felt like it was ugly). when I was making “art” - be it cooking or writing or drawing or painting or dancing or screaming or whatever else - - when i was doing those things… i was PRESENT. i was in my body and moving according to SOMETHING beyond what i could understand. something was moving through ME - and it gave me space and perspective to stop pushing so hard through "it." (life.) As I created more space for creation - I started learning more about who I was and what I wanted. I started learning more about the creator inside of me. i figured out i wanted more fun more play more art more brevity more authenticity more connection more ease more space more RAGING more GRIEVING more touching more feeling more fire more passion more pleasure more power more pussy more sexy more ritual more boundaries more “i don't give a f*ck” more “that's not my job” more “no thank you” more “i think i'll stay home this time” more “i'd LOVE to go!” more “nevermind” more “i changed my mind” more “i deserve better” more “i want more” more “i trust myself” more “i love myself so much.” more doing what i want, when i want, because i want, more understanding that i AM good (ENOUGH) and human - YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH. creativity gave me the space to understand just how much i was afraid of creating because i thought i wasn't worthy of it. creativity continues to open my heart to being seen and being heard and taking chances and fucking up on purpose (just to see what happens - just so i can learn) and being messy and for the love of all things holy - - creativity continues to open my heart to MY SELF. I can't think of anything more liberating Than truly Loving yourself whole. to all the MESSY HEARTS reading this message - with all the big emotions and big dreams and creative passions - stay tuned, i got something cooking for ya. Shana Tova to all who celebrated. Happy Friday to all who live. Sending solidarity to our sisters and siblings in Iran. Sending safety to all in the southeast usa. I really love you all. Thank you so much for being here. Miriam <3

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