Ever like - - do THE MOST?
Like you know you’re doing too much - - at work, in relationship, for your health - preparing for a difficult conversation, naming a boundary, setting an expectation – you know you’re “over-doing” it – overthinking, overplanning, overefforting – but you just can’t seem to stop?
When I first started really committing to mindset work, I experienced what I now refer to as “the summer of self-deprecation.”
I was so deep in my “healing”
i.e. - fixing,
finding everything that was wrong with me so I could try to change it,
shaming in the name of liberating…
…that I ended up causing more harm.
It was a shitty f*cking summer.
And it was a pattern I needed to surface.
I realized I had the same sort of experience when I first started to ”do the work” to lose weight.
To pay off loans.
To “show up” and “be there” in (emotionally abusive) relationships.
I built my own misery (just acknowledging – no shame) as I sustained
a lack of play and an abundance of work.
a lack of rest and an excess of action.
a lack of pleasure – and too many reasons why I wasn’t worthy of it yet.
And then I started playing with my MINIMUM EFFECTIVE DOSE.
I explored this concept from two different angles:
Firstly:
What was the least amount of play, rest, and pleasure I needed to feel overall GOOD?
And then:
What was the least amount of effort I could offer that would gain the most impact?
Exploring these edges taught me to stop spending time in places, activities, and with people, that didn’t make me feel good.
To start spending time in places, activities, and with people that made me feel seen, heard, respected and loved.
To create my own new circumstance.
To stop efforting so that other people would see, hear, respect, and love me – and to start saturating in all that I see, hear, respect, and love about myself.
(and all that I see, hear, respect, and love about other people, too.)
Some reflection prompts:::
What is the least amount of play, rest, and pleasure you need to feel overall GOOD?
What kind of play, rest, and pleasure are most beneficial to you?
Are you taking the time you need for play, rest, and pleasure?
What gets in your way, and what can you do to create more space?
Where in your life are you efforting too much?
What is the least amount of effort you could offer in those situations that could gain the most impact?
My encouragement to you is to set aside a solid 30 minutes (I always find setting a timer to be helpful) exploring these questions.
What surfaces may surprise you.
The simple shifts you create will change your life.
It’s not magic – it’s practice.
It’s practice magic.
So yes, you’re practicing magic.
Learning to feel good is a practice in magic.
Feel it?
I would LOVE to hear what comes up for you – drop me an email, freed@miriamrachaelfreed.com and let me know what surfaced!.
If you have a friend who could use these prompts, forward them this email.
If you’re vibing this whole thing and like – okay I get it but I’ve tried it and I still feel stuck – let’s hop on a call. A free consult is a great way to get started if you’re new to working with me.
If you already know me and you’re ready for a no-bullsh*t kick in the a** (with a lot of love), I’m also offering 90 minute Power Alignment Calls for $199, where we create a 60 Day roadmap of a goal for one area of your life (some prep required). If you’re interested, sign up in your bookings tab (log in first!).
No matter where you are – a the beginning of the momentum of the school year, or the end of a long summer, or anywhere between – I hope you seize this Fall season to shed some “effort” and bring in more yummy goodness of all that makes you feel happy, whole, and you.
You are worth it, and you are loved.
Cheers to minimum effective doses for maximum magnificent living.
(!!!!!!!)
Yours always,
Miriam